In African culture, a woman is supposed to be well shaped, round as a sign of good health and well upbringing. At least, that’s what i was told when i was growing up.

I was raised by a single mom in South Africa, my mom was always very cautious about what we ate. She insisted we needed to be small bodied and that’s what we knew throughout our school days. Our friends always insisted we had gone beyond the limits of small to being skinny and looking unhealthy.

Many friends however admired my body but inwardly I felt too light, too small and too skinny. I had slowly developed an eating disorder. I hated food, even when i ate, i would rush to the bathroom and bring it out. I hated to be fat. I wanted to remain small at whatever cost.

I was weighing just over 40 kgs yet i was going to University. I started feeling strange and my friends got concerned.

My friends started identifying me as the ‘small girl.’ That was crazy and is another form of prejudice. I have many skinny friends who eat like horses and just cannot gain weight. But in my case, i wasn’t eating or i when i ate; i was eating too small, too little.

In the African setting, my friends who were fat were not getting as much teasing about their fatness as I get about being underweight.
I strongly felt there has to be some other way to promote a healthy life and body than to stigmatise minorities. ​

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In my secondary school, the Headmistress at some point threatened to expel me from school for being too skinny. The school was determined to kick her out of school if I didn’t pack more pounds on my petite frame. The school had realised an eating disorder.

“I was determined to add some weight. I ate ice cream twice a day. I ate cookies. I used elevators instead of walking up stairs. But I don’t really gain any weight.”

I managed to go through University with a lot from my family and friends to add some weight on my body.

I met a boyfriend, we got along very well. I found a good job after university but trouble came when we started planning for our wedding. He insisted that I had to agree to add some weight or the wedding would not take place.

He told me his parents had raise an issue about my body weight and her aunties had specifically raised the issue of me being able to have children, or raise children if i could not be able to breastfeed them.

I became very furious and he called off the wedding.

We moved separate ways. I am waiting for a man who will marry me as a I am. I am still skinny, I have a fine job and I a career woman.

The right man will come and take me as I am.

Madinah