We live in a hair obsessed crazy world.  To make your hair more fancy, treat it, braid it, curl it, twist and make it whatever makes you feel great. A woman is her hair.  I don’t have that feeling any more.
 
It’s a nightmare when you wake up one morning and you notice your hairline is receding. You notice that your hair comb is filling up. The ugly truth that your hair is breaking. You are loosing your hair.
Its heart-breaking.
I woke up one morning and I noticed almost my head was going bald. I ran everywhere to try and regain my hair. The more effort I put in trying to regain my hair, the quicker it seemed to be falling off.
When I fist started loosing my hair I was leaving in denial, even when I had a few strands remaining, I was convinced it would grow again. I started noticing a patch in the middle of my head. I started putting on a wig, until I felt so uncomfortable.
 
I could look at myself and feel that the world is turning upside down. 

I had to be strong or else I would break down.

My daughters encouraged me, one of them said, Mum, you are the most wonderful mother whether you have hair or not. They have learnt to live with this in a weird way and it’s keeping me going.
 
I started getting painful injections until one day I decided that no more pain of injections. I decided to live without hair. I was desperate to get my hair back and ready to try almost anything, sometimes, expensive options. I spent a fortune trying to grow my hair again, until I decided it was enough.

My biggest fear is that if any of my daughters get the same condition it’s going to be heart breaking. I don’t think they will take it in. I look at myself and feel a bit of pity.
People assume that I have cancer but I have to explain each time that I am healthy, its just that my hair fell off. I am still pretty and there is always a positive side, I always look young. I am bald but I am not worried about having grey hair.
 
But I don’t want to look at any of my girls bald. I will feel a lot of pain. It will make me feel responsible for their condition. One of my daughters says she does not mind if this condition eventually comes to her, the other doesn’t want to discuss it because she loves her hair. If she lost it, it would mean the end of her world.
 
Sometimes, the emotional aspect of not having hair is more painful that the physical pain of not having it. The physical part is easy to deal with because you can cover up, you can put on a wig, but the emotional aspect is a personal choice.
 
I have chosen a better option, with or without hair, I am happy, I am raising my two girls in the best way possible. I have saved quite some money.

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Leslie